Step Back Before Responding!

When faced with a difficult situation, instead of responding emotionally, take a step back, a deep breath & ask yourself, what result would I like to achieve? Am I going to achieve that result with your current response? Then respond with a response that will be better at achieving that result!!!!

Good Better Best

Good better best, never let it rest, get your good better and your better best. I was reminded of this saying recently while I was playing and riding my own horses. I was comparing videos I made on circle game from a while ago to the one I made that day. I was pleased with my progress on finding a better neutral but wasn’t satisfied. As I watched the videos, I was excited about getting out there again to try to improve. I wanted to make even more progress with myself!!

The first time I became aware of this concept, was at The Parelli Center in Florida several years ago. I was taking a liberty class. I was very proud of myself because my horse and I were doing circles in a round corral and achieving flying lead changes at liberty. I really didn’t practice this much, however my horse was athletic enough that if I happened to run back at just the right time, point, and run forward, it just happened. I didn’t know at that time why or how I was getting them, I just knew they occasionally occurred. The lead instructor came over to watch me!

When I was finished, I got some praise and recognition from the instructor. I was very pleased with myself and my horse. I thought I’d reached the top of the mountain. Then I was challenged to do the circles and changes without a stick. I felt a little uncomfortable but accepted the challenge.

Why was I uncomfortable? I knew I had become dependent and comfortable with the stick. After all it is an extension of my arm, right? I also knew that I didn’t really know how to ask for a flying lead change, they just occasionally happened. After some research, practice, growing, and stretching on my part, I was able to accomplish that challenge.

Through the experience, I was able to figure out how to ask for the change. I was getting them more frequently. It wasn’t the stick, it was my communication! Ahhhhh, now I got it!! I was so happy for the achievement. I must have really reached the top of the mountain this time. I was again given praise and recognition, hooray for me, hooray for my wonderful horse!!!

But then the next day, I was challenged again. This time to accomplish the lead change with my hands in my pocket. What? That wasn’t the end? How could this be? How could I do that? Wow, did I feel uncomfortable. Wow was I defensive.

Learning is uncomfortable because it pushes us outside your comfort zone. And as an LBI/RBI, I felt like the bottom just dropped out of my world. After calming down, I’ll pulled myself back in and put myself to the task. After some time, I achieved flying lead changes at liberty with my hands in my pockets.

You might ask, why would you want even to do that task with your hands in your pockets. I would probably answer, because I can. As it turns out everything means something, and that exercise allowed me to eventually ride bridle-less while cantering my horse. My communication had gotten to a level that I didn’t need a stick, reins, or bits. I just needed communication to be understood between myself and my horse.

The art of being progressive, is to always challenge oneself to expand you and your horses comfort zone. I had a habit of not moving forward beyond what I had achieved. Sometimes those achievements happened despite of myself. Those achievements become my new normal. I became very comfortable. My comfort zone did not expand.

Maybe it was my lack of imagination and maybe it was my feeling of not wanting to be that uncomfortable when stretching my limits. Whatever the reason, I had reached a point of not progressing. I found that my horse was becoming dull and bored, and I wasn’t having as much fun either. I became frustrated and discouraged. I can only imagine my horse thinking, “Why is Dan frustrated and discouraged with us”. As a herd, horses think in terms of us not I. My horse began to stay with the herd of horses instead of being in our herd of two. As I think back on those days, I wouldn’t want to leave a positive environment to go to a negative one. My comfort zone and my horses comfort zone began to shrink! Yes, that’s right, if you and your horses comfort zone does not expand, they will shrink!

We see this in horses all the time. Have you ever seen a horse that was not been played with and/or been ridden much during the winter come out in the spring spooking at everything when they didn’t spook at anything last fall? Well then you have seen a decrease in the horses’ comfort zone. That is just one example.

As I grow in my Horsemanship Journey and my Journey in Life, (for me one in the same), I’ve come to the realization, that the better I make my best, the more life has to offer. The more I am positive, progressive, and natural, the happier I am. The further I increase my comfort zone by learning and achieving as much as I can, the better my relationships become.

It really doesn’t take much effort! It takes a little every moment. Look at everything you do, every way you act, every relationship you have, and everything that happens with the gratitude and attitude of being pleased, but not satisfied. Be obsessed with Never Ending Self Improvement, to help every aspect of your life expand. Keep your principles in tack, but always be positive, progressive, and natural.

As I relate these concepts to trailer loading of horses, for me the major steps went like this:

•I was pleased when I could lead my horse on a trailer and it only took 20 minutes. I held the horse and I could have someone latch the but bar and close the ramp, and my horse mostly stayed on. I left through the escape door.

• Then I was pleased when I could do all that while only taking 10 minutes.

• Then I was pleased when I could send my horse on the trailer. Once on I had someone hold the lead rope at the escape door while I latched the but bar and closed the ramp and my horse stayed on the trailer.

• Then I was pleased when I could send my horse on the trailer and latched the but bar and ramp while someone fed my horse treats at the escape door but didn’t have to hold the lead rope.

• Then I was pleased when I could send my horse on the trailer, my horse stayed on, and I could latch the but bar and close the ramp without help.

• Then I was pleased when I could send my horse on the trailer from the fender of the trailer, drop the 22’ rope, walk over, and latch the but bar and close the ramp on the trailer without help.

• Then I was pleased when I could load my horse from the trailer hitch, the truck bed, sitting inside the cab of the truck, from on top of the trailer, and/or laying on the hood of the truck and then hop up or off and walk around and secure my horse on the trailer.

• Then I was pleased when I could load my horse at liberty at close range, and then from further distances up to 150 feet away at a walk, trot or canter. (This is an ongoing challenge to get further and further away and be in open areas!)

• Now I want to call my horse and have him load at liberty from anywhere while I sit in the truck! (work in progress)

• I’m sure after the last one, I’ll think of other ways to load! Can’t wait to think up more ways.

Imagine how much confidence both my horse and I have with trailer loading. Imagine how much mutual trust my horse and I have! Why did I do all these and more steps? Because I can, LOL!

Actually it taught me how to think more like a horse instead of like a human. I could begin to develop steps that allowed my horse to progress and expand all the while increasing his confidence and trust in me as a leader. More importantly, when the time comes where I must get my horse on the trailer, I hope to have built enough trust and confidence where I don’t have any issues or concerns.

That time came on a rainy, snowy and windy day a few years ago. It was a nice day when we started out, however when I got to my appointment for the day, the weather had changed. My horse slipped coming off the trailer and injured his right hind leg. He was not putting full weight on the leg. So, instead of using him to help teach as was planned, he rested and ate hay while I completed the lessons for the day. The leg swelled up a bit. He was a little uncomfortable but otherwise seemed fine. We had to get on the trailer to travel the hour home and it was still rainy, snowy, and windy! Was he going to get on? Was he going to go near the trailer? How would I get him off the trailer when I arrived home?

I’m happy to say that there was no issue getting on, traveling, and getting off, even though I had to support his right hind leg to help him on and off the step-up trailer. He trusted me, and I trusted him. I was so thankful that I expanded both our comfort zones. This is just one of many examples I have experienced over my life with horses.

In closing, whatever you do in life, be pleased in your accomplishments. Celebrate those accomplishments. However, do not be satisfied with those accomplishments. Good better best, never let it rest, get your good better and your better best. The results will pay off in so many ways!!

Dan Roser is a lifelong horseman with over 40 years’ experience helping humans and horses communicate effectively through Natural Horsemanship. If you would like more information and to contact us, please go to our website www.hbfcnh.com